Empathy
by Aunty Lala
Summary: Owen gets drunk and contemplates all things Jack and Ianto - specifically the darkness he recognised in Ianto. This follows The Return of Captain Jack and goes a little way towards explaining Owen's evolving relationship with Ianto. In the cannon, it fits in the gaps after episode 1 season 2.


Owen put the glass down and walked away. How? Or should it be why? Why him, and how did his life get so fucked up like this? Valid points in the midst of an alcohol fuelled haze. This was not the life moving to Cardiff had promised him. He'd been facing a promising career as a doctor, a wedding planned to his Katie, everything was roses. Until it all turned to shit. Not just a little pile of shit, a giant, steaming pile of turd in a shit flavoured wrapper.

Sometimes he wondered if one of his ancestors had run over some gypsy woman's dog and been cursed. Whatever it was, it was paying itself out in his lifetime, effecting every woman around him. Or more specifically, the ones in his bed, the ones he loved. Katie with the alien parasite incubating in her brain. Stealing her life in inches, destroying who she was until there was nothing left. Her brilliant brain, the stolen life of a doctor gone. His hopes and plans gone too, along with the woman who made him want to be a better person.

He wondered if it was just Gwen's engagement that had him feeling like this. Talking about wedding venues and table seating plans and flowers, like she was the only woman in the history of the entire human race to get married. At least while Jack had been away Ianto had kept her so busy with paperwork she hadn't had as much time to remind him of the wedding he'd once planned with Katie. He hadn't been joking about Ianto having a mean streak without Jack around. His mother used to say he should watch out for the quiet ones. You didn't hear them coming until you felt the knife going in. Sometimes not even then.

He had developed a grudging degree of respect for Ianto Jones in the absence of Jack Harkness. He'd also learnt, to his own cost, never to gamble with Ianto, especially not when it came to shooting. When Ianto had said he'd only been aiming for his shoulder the time he'd shot him, he hadn't been joking. The man never missed a single target he aimed for. And the incident with the decaf, that was just nasty. There was a darkness to Ianto that he suspected they had only seen the edges of. He wondered what else lay hidden beneath the three piece suits. What secrets in darkness lay. And as much as it wasn't an image he ever wanted to see again, it seemed Jack was the light in the tunnel of Ianto's darkness.

With that thought Owen wondered how drunk he was as he found a taxi home. He'd meant what he'd said, if Jack ever left them with a broken Ianto again, he would shoot the man. It didn't matter that he wouldn't stay dead. Remembering Ianto falling back into a stupor, sleepwalking though each day when he had found the CCTV footage of Jack leaving with his pre-packed bag. Footage Gwen had tried to bury because it showed Jack leaving of his own volition. It had reminded him of Diane leaving. Only Ianto just gave Gwen decaf and was like a frozen version of himself. He'd gotten into a cage with a weevil hoping to die. Not wanting to be saved. Somehow a numb Ianto had seemed worse. At least his scars were on the outside.

He wondered if that was why he of all people had empathy for Ianto. Someone he had never really bonded with. He too had lost one lover to death and another had vanished. Ianto disappearing into himself, expressing his anger in decaffeinated coffee and being generally snappy and waspish. Raising his voice at him and Gwen at one point. They had been discussing the proper division of labour in Jack's absence, and Ianto had actually yelled at them to stop being childish. If he was honest it was less of a discussion and more of an argument. Ianto had asked Gwen what was more important, being in charge or driving the SUV. And Owen recalled the dead seriousness with which he had been asked if he wanted to be shot again when objecting to Ianto's intervention. Tosh had, wisely, stayed out of it.

* * *

Owen let himself into his flat, Cardiff lay spread out before him, lights dancing in the distance as he continued to think about the last woman who had shared his bed. Not a blonde doctor in training, rather a dark beauty from the fifties. A woman lost in the rift and who had said she loved him but choose to leave anyway. A woman who needed the freedom found in flying and sex. And god he'd lost himself in her as they had flown together. He'd shagged a lot of women, but he'd only loved two. Maybe three but he wasn't sure he was willing to ruin the life of another woman. Maybe Gwen was lucky she got out while she had or who knows what that would have turned into. Another grave for him to lay flowers on perhaps.

He poured himself a nightcap and carried his glass to his bedroom. Resting his forehead against the glass he tried to forget his past, Diane, Katie. Suzie, although no love was lost there. He no longer wanted to remember any of them. Unlike Ianto, at least he'd had a grave to visit. Ianto had a corpse in a freezer, he'd wanted to bury his Lisa but Jack hadn't let him. Couldn't risk the cyber technology getting out of the building he'd said. Ianto had looked like he wanted to kill Jack for that, Owen was surprised he'd forgiven their leader enough to climb into his bed. He was almost as surprised they had managed to patch things up when Jack had finally come back. Although he didn't think Ianto had climbed straight back into Jack's bed this time around.

He didn't want to admit that there was the occasional moment, usually when he was very drunk and feeling particularly curious, that he wondered what it would be like. In Jack's bed. It wasn't a thought he held onto for very long, but it was one that crossed his mind in the few moments he chose to acknowledge it's presence. He suspected Tosh was the only one who hadn't really considered the idea. He knew Gwen would have been in like a shot if she'd been given the chance. Although he suspected that train had officially been derailed and retired for scrap. He did wonder what Ianto might do to her if she did try something and grinned at his reflection in the window.

He turned to lean against the glass and wondered if his life was ever going to make sense. He saw things he would never have believed possible five years ago. Including a venomous gnome. The gnome was going to take some beating, preferably with a book of puns. Ianto had fantastic timing for someone who was usually so straight. Who knew there were so many songs one could mix up the word gnome into. Or that Jack had a good singing voice. He felt so alone, standing there with his back to the world. He was glad Ianto had Jack back. It would be nice for something to get back to normal. Even if it meant knocking on every closed door in the Hub so he didn't walk in on anything he really didn't want to see. But for now, tomorrow was another day, it was late and he didn't want to be awake any more.

* * *

Owen drifted into desperate dreams filled with cigarette smoke and hospital disinfectant. Blonde hair gave way to dark curls and a woman in a long dress danced on a rooftop beneath a sky lit with stars. Until she too faded away, replaced by blonde hair and a doctors white coat smiling at him over a crowded hospital cafeteria. A woman who didn't know his name. And Jack, in his long coat. Until everyone was gone. Leaving him only memories, stolen hope and fading dreams as oblivion claimed him in sleep.

* * *

Owen walked into the Hub, if Jack and Ianto weren't back today he was going to stage an intervention. Once he found them. He already had Tosh searching for whatever hotel they were holed up in, although all she had been able to tell him was they hadn't registered anywhere under their own names. Jack had rung Tosh on Monday morning to say they were staying in a hotel in Cardiff and wouldn't be into the Hub for a few more days. It was now Friday. He was drowning under paperwork and Gwen and Tosh bonding over weddings. That and he was really missing Ianto's coffee. He didn't think he could drink any more instant and no matter how much they got paid, it still didn't mean he liked paying for coffee.

He walked over to Tosh. 'Please tell me they have turned their cellphones back on or something and you have been able to find them.'

She shook her head. 'Sorry Owen. Nothing, both phones go straight to voicemail.'

He sighed. 'What are we supposed to do if there is an emergency?'

'Like we find more gnomes?'

'Don't even joke about that Tosh, one was enough.' He looked from Tosh to the pile of paperwork on his desk before he looked over to Gwen. 'How's your arm?'

She grinned at him. 'You just want to look at my bum again, it's fine, same as it was yesterday.'

'Still, I am a doctor.' He pulled gloves on and made her roll her sleeve up. He looked around as they heard the door to the Hub opening. He grinned as he called out to the two men walking into the room. 'Oi, what took you two so bloody long? Did you forget where you work or something.'

'We rung in to say where we were.'

Tosh peered around the side of her computer. 'No you didn't, not where you were, all you said was you would be a few days. And that you would leave your phones on in case of an emergency.'

'What emergency? And it was only a few days. A few days for me and a few days for Ianto. We had a lot of catching up to do.' Jack grinned. 'A lot, of catching up to do. In fact, if someone hadn't missed his coffee machine we wouldn't be here now.'

Owen groaned, maybe he hadn't missed them as much as he thought he had after all. 'Oh god, make it stop.'

Ianto ignored them all as he made his way to the coffee machine. 'Shall I make coffee then.'

Jack grinned. 'Thank you Ianto, I'll be in my office.'

'Certainly, Sir.'

Owen just shook his head as he tossed the gloves in the bin and got back to his paperwork. At least some things were back to normal. He just wondered how long for this time.


End file.
